There’s a time in every couple’s life when things move from dating to planning marriage, kids and an entire life together. Besides love and happily ever after, this step forward involves a wide series of changes in a couple’s life.
Moving together means sharing not only the house but also the current expenses. Who’s paying for what could soon become a problem in a couple’s dynamic. Because talking about money is less fun than planning the next night out. So, before saying ‘I Do’, partners should take some time to discuss finance.
Knowing what to expect from your partner in terms of financial stability is essential when planning to build a family. Times can come when you could need support or you should support your spouse. You need to be prepared to share your expectations with your partner and see whether your predictions about the future are similar.
Romance Doesn’t Pay the Bills
Finances are the main cause of stress in most relationships. As much as 35 percent of the Americans admit discussing with their partners because of money problems. From rigid saving mindset to overspending, your financial habits can cause stress to your partner and generate problems inside the couple.
Healthy relationships are built on trust and communication. You need to be able to discuss your finances with your partner. This involves knowing who’s paying for electricity and who’s buying the groceries. Or, if one of you can’t afford the living standard of the other.
Financial stability is important for both individuals and the couple. Hiding debts from your partner isn’t going to help you improve your financial situation. Nor spending your money behind his or her back.
More than 7 million Americans hide money from their partners. Whether you decide to keep separate accounts or to merge income into a common account, hiding money can have a negative influence on your relationship.
It’s essential to give accurate information about your finances to your partner. This way, you both adapt expectations to reality. And, the relationship is more solid, as both partners know about each other’s financial obligations and debts.
This way, they can help one another to pay off debts or to repair their credit. In the long run, if both partners have a good financial history, the couple can afford a bigger house, a better car, and a more advantageous retirement plan.
Partners Must Have the Same Financial Priorities
Money issues are the third most common cause of divorce. If you want to travel around the world, while your partner only thinks about contributing to the 401(k), your relationship is more likely to end badly.
With or without a common savings account, you need to focus both on the same goals to build a future together. A future that depends on how financially sound you are. To make things work, both partners should be involved in the management of your family’s budget.
It doesn’t matter if your partner is a lawyer or a part-time income tax preparer making the lowest wage. It’s how you decide to spend the money that makes the difference. If you’re both aiming for the same things, you’re more likely to have a healthy relationship.
You must share your financial goals with your partner, to make your family financially sound. Paying student loan debts, repairing credit, buying a house, saving for your children’s education and investing in life insurance or mutual funds for retirement. All these can become your financial priorities, to make sure you don’t end up paying interest and never-ending credit card bills.
For example, if one of you runs into trouble with the law – you will be at ease knowing you can afford to hire an assault lawyer. Because it’s not the amount of money you earn that gives stability, but the way in which you spend it.
Marriage is a Partnership
Most couples have to deal with financial inequality – one partner earns significantly more than the other. This can make your relationship unstable, as it can generate conflict and tension inside the couple.
That’s why it’s essential to build a stable financial partnership with your spouse. ‘My money’ vs. ‘Your money’ vs. ‘Our money’. If one of you can’t keep up with the other’s earnings, you shouldn’t let this become a problem. You need to communicate and compromise. Otherwise, the partner making less will end up with feeling less important inside the couple. You mustn’t feel guilty about it either, but you shouldn’t make a too big an issue out of it.
Go from equal to proportional shares when building your budget. This way, you’ll both have some money left for personal expenses at the end of the month. No need for credit card bills, debt, and loans. Partners can compensate smaller income by taking care of the kids, for example.
The Takeaway
Financial stability inside a couple doesn’t depend only on how much each partner earns. What matters is how spouses choose to spend their money for common benefits. That’s why is essential to discuss finance with your partner – how you’re going to spend expenses and how you plan to invest your money.
Managing finances can cause tensions inside a couple, especially when partners aren’t open about their current obligations and expectations. Having common financial goals can consolidate your couple and help you put your money in things that are important for both of you.
